Eeeeeeeeeeew!!!!

Small Penis Prevention Day.. Spread The Word!

It's here at last! I know you've been waiting. The 1st annual Small Penis Prevention day is finally here.

Mistress V has decided to take matters into her own hands and cull the herd of underendowed men through the use of tagging, tattooing, and branding to mark these men as unfit for procreation. She also supports the use of chastity devices and sterilization to prevent these men from passing on the puny-peter gene.

Show your support, visit he site today and learn what you can do to prevent small penises.

Trapped In Chocolate?

The AP wire released a story about a Kenosha Wisconsin man who fell into vat of chocolate. The poor bastard was stuck until rescue workers could blend in enough cocoa butter to thin the goo to a workable consistancy.

I'm smelling a new fetish hitting the phones.

Oh wait, that's mine.

Juggling Is The New Mime

As a rule, phone sex operators can be pretty busy during the prime-time hours.

As with any entertainment industry, there really isn't much business during the day, and it's in the after dinner hours that things pick up. Now, what with sex being a common bedtime ritual, we tend to keep going a little later than your average movie theater, but the principle is the same. We mostly work nights.

By know, you should be reasonably wondering where I'm going with this and what it has to do with juggling mimes. Well Poppet, my point is... We don't get to watch much television unless we record it.

Be patient, the jugglers are coming.

I took this week off from work for the first time in five years (the beauty of phone sex is that it can go with you when you're on vacation) and reintroduced my ass to my couch.

I don't mind saying, I had some rather high expectations. For the past decade, I've occasionally caught a few good shows, but only after the seasons are released on DVD. (House MD is a special case, I'd rearrange my schedule for Fry, Laurie, French, or Saunders any day of the week. I'm glad none of the others have American series going right now or I'd never get anything done.)

So, there I am, with the remote, a bowl of popcorn, and my expectations and what do I subject myself to but a new show called America's Got Talent.

Sigh.

The first act was a guy who snaps his fingers. Nuff said.

Of course, I never leave it alone when enough has been said, so I'll continue.

For those of you old enough to remember The Gong Show, you'll understand what I was looking at for two hours.

Oh sure, there were a few truly talented people on the show. There were two kids who clearly hadn't made it just for being precocious. They had talent that could stand up to any adult, any day of the week. There were a few singers who were good and some guys who really need to be auditioning for Cirque de Soliel. But for the most part, it was nose organs, singing saws, and rapping grannies.

And jugglers. G-d help us, there were jugglers.

Hence the title of my post.

It seems the new trend in obnoxious street performance is toward juggling. Unlike mimes however, who can only make rude, but silent gestures if you make a disparaging remark, jugglers can threaten you with knives and chainsaws. Oh sure, they use them in the act, but really the weapons are there to make sure you keep your catty comments to yourself.

On last night's show, one such juggler managed to get a second shot at the $1 million prize by baring his machetes to the judges after they'd all voted him off. If you tune in to the next episode, you'll get to see Mr. I-don't-take-no-for-an-answer-without-making-you-fear-for-your-safety (we call him Mr. I for short) and be able to check out his encore. He's kind of clumsy though, and keeps dropping his stuff, so maybe he'll take himself out of the competition when he dismembers himself.

Enjoy your TV. I'm going back to work.

Talk about phoning it in...

I found a new sex toy for you!

Ok, maybe not the kind you're thinking of. It's a chatterbot, and you can now chat online anytime with my vacuous alter-ego.

Go ahead, she's right there at the top of the right hand column.

Here----------->

Go on. You know you wanna.

She may not be as stimulating as a venus butterfly vibrator, but if you ask the right questions, she can be penetrating none-the-less.

Enjoy.






I'm a geek.

America's Oddest Jobs... Not a Rim Or A Blow To Be Found

A friend of mine forwarded an A to Z list of America's oddest jobs. I've done five of them.

I'm not sure if I feel enriched or unnerved.

Surprisingly, phone sex was not on the list. While I'm not one to say phone sex is, in and of itself odd, certainly talking to a man about how long he should heat the cantaloupe he's just scooped a penis sized hole into can't possibly be considered the norm.

I'd like to thank everyone who has been patient with me while I post so infrequently. Your attention is both flattering and appreciated.

And Now We Dance

I remember once upon a time being a bit amazed by Madonna's Sex book. Back when it came out, the idea of being out of the closet with your kink was outrageous to me.

My how times change.

Nowadays, I've spoken to plenty of submissives and Doms and I've befriended a few Mistresses. You might find this shocking, but I know for a presonal fact that most of them look nothing like the people in this video.

Music Video Codes By VideoCodeZone

Oh how perfect!

I won't do this often, but I had to share,

If I were a crayon I'd be:

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Bicent... Bicent...um, I Suppose The Word I'm Looking For Would Be Bicent-hitial.

I'm celebrating the 200th hit to my blog. Woo hoo! (It takes so little to make me happy.)

I'm especially excited, cause 200 page views can't all be from me.

In The Interest of Science

Based on a scientific survey of 25 callers tonight, I have determined that approximately 88.47% of American men have penises larger than eight inches, 7.69% have penises larger than ten inches, and 3.84% have wee little winkies and want me to laugh at them.

It's been twenty minutes,

It's been twenty minutes, where are all my responses?

Man, the guys never take this long on the phone.