Juggling Is The New Mime

As a rule, phone sex operators can be pretty busy during the prime-time hours.

As with any entertainment industry, there really isn't much business during the day, and it's in the after dinner hours that things pick up. Now, what with sex being a common bedtime ritual, we tend to keep going a little later than your average movie theater, but the principle is the same. We mostly work nights.

By know, you should be reasonably wondering where I'm going with this and what it has to do with juggling mimes. Well Poppet, my point is... We don't get to watch much television unless we record it.

Be patient, the jugglers are coming.

I took this week off from work for the first time in five years (the beauty of phone sex is that it can go with you when you're on vacation) and reintroduced my ass to my couch.

I don't mind saying, I had some rather high expectations. For the past decade, I've occasionally caught a few good shows, but only after the seasons are released on DVD. (House MD is a special case, I'd rearrange my schedule for Fry, Laurie, French, or Saunders any day of the week. I'm glad none of the others have American series going right now or I'd never get anything done.)

So, there I am, with the remote, a bowl of popcorn, and my expectations and what do I subject myself to but a new show called America's Got Talent.

Sigh.

The first act was a guy who snaps his fingers. Nuff said.

Of course, I never leave it alone when enough has been said, so I'll continue.

For those of you old enough to remember The Gong Show, you'll understand what I was looking at for two hours.

Oh sure, there were a few truly talented people on the show. There were two kids who clearly hadn't made it just for being precocious. They had talent that could stand up to any adult, any day of the week. There were a few singers who were good and some guys who really need to be auditioning for Cirque de Soliel. But for the most part, it was nose organs, singing saws, and rapping grannies.

And jugglers. G-d help us, there were jugglers.

Hence the title of my post.

It seems the new trend in obnoxious street performance is toward juggling. Unlike mimes however, who can only make rude, but silent gestures if you make a disparaging remark, jugglers can threaten you with knives and chainsaws. Oh sure, they use them in the act, but really the weapons are there to make sure you keep your catty comments to yourself.

On last night's show, one such juggler managed to get a second shot at the $1 million prize by baring his machetes to the judges after they'd all voted him off. If you tune in to the next episode, you'll get to see Mr. I-don't-take-no-for-an-answer-without-making-you-fear-for-your-safety (we call him Mr. I for short) and be able to check out his encore. He's kind of clumsy though, and keeps dropping his stuff, so maybe he'll take himself out of the competition when he dismembers himself.

Enjoy your TV. I'm going back to work.