The Supreme Court Refuses to Jugde Dildo

A man in El Paso was arrested for violating a Texas law prohibiting the sale of sex toys shaped like sexual organs.

Two undercover police officers made the arrest when adult-bookstore employee Ignacio Acosta made remarks which indicated the phallus was intended for uses which were prurient in nature as opposed to educational, medical, or artistic.

Let me repeat that slowly.


He was arrested, while selling a dildo

in an adult bookstore

to police officers who were disguised as people who have sex

when he indicated that the dildo

the one that was in the adult bookstore

was intended to be used as a sex toy

instead of medical or educational use.



If he had sold a dildo shaped like a rabbit, it would have been somehow alright.

If he has sold a dildo shaped like a penis under the guise of using it as a rectum dilator, it would have been somehow alright.

If he had sold a dildo shaped like a penis, claiming it to be a ten inch, rubber sculpture representing man’s inhumanity to man, that would have been somehow alright.

But selling a dildo, shaped like a dildo, to be used as a dildo, is against the law in Texas.

Acosta challenged his arrest and the El Paso county court agreed with him that the law violated individual sexual privacy. But apparently the district attorney felt strongly enough about dildos to appeal the decision and the ruling was overturned in appeals court..

The next step would be the US Supreme Court, but they’ve been busy with Ana Nicole Smith and refused to hear the case.

I just wonder how they'd feel about a dildo shaped like a high court justice? It would only be in violation of Texas law if they admit they're dicks.

Public Service Announcement

For those times when you're tempted to use your phone to call a sex line, place an order for an inflatable love doll, or even to just to ask your pharmacist about the best cure for head lice, please keep the following important reminder by the phone.

Warning: All Calls May Be Monitored because our president doesn't hink he needs a warrent.

Last year, nearly 30,000 Americans learned only when they tried to fly that they'd been mistakenly placed on terror watch lists. If you haven't flown recently, you too may be one of the lucky thousands who have yet to discover your status as a threat to the country's safety.

On the bright side, since you're going to miss your flight anyway, you may take the time to convince the cute chick with the wand at the security gate that you're an international man of mystery.

Woo hoo! Cavity search!!!!!

I read the news today. Oh boy!

In India, where pornography is illegal, men caught watching the illicit flicks are being sentenced to do sit ups and make a public pledge never to watch the smut again.

Want the details? Read it for yourself. I ain't yer nanny. (though I've played one on the phone)

Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there, but maybe something similar would work to control obesity in America. We have the fattest people and the largest porn industry, there's got to be the potential for a tie in. Besides guys jacking off to workout tapes I mean.

I'm seeing a new national health craze "Mastercize." Soon enough Richard Simmons will have BBWs Sweatin to the Pornos.