Public Service Announcement

For those times when you're tempted to use your phone to call a sex line, place an order for an inflatable love doll, or even to just to ask your pharmacist about the best cure for head lice, please keep the following important reminder by the phone.

Warning: All Calls May Be Monitored because our president doesn't hink he needs a warrent.

Last year, nearly 30,000 Americans learned only when they tried to fly that they'd been mistakenly placed on terror watch lists. If you haven't flown recently, you too may be one of the lucky thousands who have yet to discover your status as a threat to the country's safety.

On the bright side, since you're going to miss your flight anyway, you may take the time to convince the cute chick with the wand at the security gate that you're an international man of mystery.

Woo hoo! Cavity search!!!!!