Sunday, October 08, 2006

Figging revisited

I’ve recently added this nifty little feature to my blog which allows me to see where people are visiting me from both geologically (Hellooooooo Dubai!) and virtually, as in "what link did you follow to find me?" Turns out a disproportionate number of you little kinkmeisters come to me after you’ve googled the word “figging.”

Oh yeah, you know who you are.

Well, as a public service for my lovely burn-bottomed readers, I thought I’d go into it in a little more detail.


First, some safety tips.

1) Peel it. Smooth it down, take off the rough patches and knobbly bits, and round the end. Inserting the ginger should burn, not scrape.

2) Wash the damned thing! We all know you shouldn’t be eating fruits and vegetables without giving them a rinse, do you really think it’s advisable to shove one up your ass, pesticides and all? You’ll also need to clear away any peelings still clinging to the root.

3) Use a root large enough not to slip in and disappear. This really isn’t anything you want to take to the emergency room.

4) Don’t leave it in for extended periods. While the burning begins to diminish in ten to twenty minutes, depending on freshness, the root is still capable of causing irritation.

5) Cut an indentation around the root for the rectum to close around, keeping the ginger in place. Put the indentation far enough from one end to afford you a small handle or base when the ginger is in the rectum. (Like a butt-plug.)

6) While some people have used ginger in the vagina, others claim vaginal secretions are too acidic to combine safely with the juices of the ginger. You’ve been warned.

7) Wash you hands after touching the ginger. Avoid touching your face until you do so as the juice from the ginger will burn your eyes, nose, and mouth.

8) To avoid unexpected and unwanted after-effects, begin by testing it for a few seconds, increasing to a few minutes, checking for signs of prolonged irritation between inseertions.

Now for some tips and tricks:

Some enthusiasts recommend a slice of ginger berifly placed on the clitoris for added fun.

The peeled ginger requires no lubricant. Lubricant creates a barrier between the ginger and the rectum, diminishing it’s effect. The juices of the ginger may be used as a natural, though less effective lubricant. Some preliminary fingering may be required to relax the rectum prior to insertion.

Fresh ginger has a stronger effect than older ginger.

To increase the effect of older ginger, allowed it to age in a sealed bag in the refrigerator until it begins to develop a mold. Peel and use as normal.

For reviews of personal experiences with figging, check out:

http://www.agirlwitha.com/content/2004/07/ginger_fingers.php

or

http://sinerator.blogspot.com/2006/04/figging.html

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Entertaining + educational = entercational! lol...

If you keep bringing this idea up I'm going to have to try it sometime!

Operator15 said...

I'm going to keep mentioning it until I'm the foremost authority on figging according to google's page rank.

I'll be the go-to girl for information without ever having done it.

it's no unusual to fake things in my line of work.

Anonymous said...

Right lol...well you're my #1 source. You're like a figging celebrity.

Operator15 said...

You're figging A right I am baby..

and to be clear, when I say "It's no unusual to fake things in my line of work" I mean to include typos in that statement.

All typos you see here on this website are intentionally placed, so as to create the illusion of being written by a flawed individual.

I do it for my callers, really. It helps them feel more cofortable approaching me if I seem less than perfect.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, of course.