My All Time Favorite Call

I'm sorry to say, my absolute favorite call isn't even mine. It was a story I once heard of another operator's call.. Let's just call her Operator16.. And she was kind enough to give me leave to publish her story here.

She: So.. You're actually in your garage?

He: Yeah, I'm in my car.

She: You're in your car in the garage.

He: Yeah, I'm in the trunk.

She: Why are you in the trunk?

He: So my wife doesn't hear me.

She: Are you playing hide and seek?

He: No, I just don't want her to hear me.

She: Where is she?

He: In the kitchen making dinner.

She: Ok, so she's in the kitchen making dinner and you're in the trunk of the car in the garage. Did you leave the truck latch open?

He: Um.. No. Do you think I should have?

She: How are you going to get out?

He: I.. Um...

She: I see.

He: I guess I didn't think this one through.

She: Clearly not.

He: What am I going to do?

She: Why don't you feel around for a safety release inside?

He: (rustling sounds) I'm not finding anything.

She: Does it have fold down back seats? Can you push them down?

He: No, the trunk is separate.

She: Wow, I don't even know what to tell ya. Sound like you got yourself into a jam there.

He: How much oxygen do you think is in a sealed car trunk.

She: Just take shallow breaths.

He: (Begins to hyperventilate)

She: Ok, well, that's not what I told you to do. Look, can you shout for your wife?

He: No, she's at the other end of the house. She'd never hear me.

She: So why did you need to... Oh never mind.

He: (whispering) Wait a sec. I hear something.

She: Ok, great, maybe it's your wife.. Try shouting.

He: (whispering) Shhhh... Hang on.

She: Wouldn't now be a good time to stop hiding and get out of the trunk?

He: (no response, just the muffled sounds of a key going into a lock and the unmistakable sound of a trunk door opening.)

The wife: Dinner's ready, stupid.